Our children are part of the most unparented generation. They are a product of women who wanted it all only to realize that was never a possibility. Successful Parenting Means Spending TIME with your children. There is really no other way. The number 1 question I have received lately is, “How did you do it”?
How did you manage to raise six children that are all walking with the Lord?
My immediate answer is to say that they are not all grown yet and it is all God! I know myself very well and I am not that great, so it absolutely is the grace of God! That is the true answer. Now after discussing these questions with my husband, he helped me to see that while my answer is 100% true it really was not that helpful. People want to know tangible ways they can successfully parent their children. Successful Parenting=Time and lots of prayers!
After much thought and prayer, I have realized that there are many components to good parenting. One of the most important aspects of successful parenting is intentionally, slowly, putting in the time. Investing in your child will bless everyone involved.
Let’s start with TIME
Time is the most difficult thing for me to give my children! It is not easy to give your children time and the bigger the family the more difficult it is. Add family commitments in the mix and you start to see how hard it is to find the time. But I can promise you this, if you don’t spend time with your children talking and walking and working and doing life together while they are young it will be an arduous task to raise them to be godly adults. If you have to give up things and commitments that you love, to spend time with your kids, then I beg you to do this! This is a short season you are in and I pray you will take full advantage of it!
True Confession, I actually will figure out in my head how much time each of my children is away from home. Yes, I actually do this and yes, I know there is a name for this! If they are away from home for more hours than home, how can you ever expect to be the primary influence in their lives? I am not saying that they should not have other Godly people in their lives that influence them or that at a certain age they should not form “ministry friendships”. I am not saying they should not take part in activities or pursue personal interests. I am just saying, pay attention to how much time you are spending with your kids.
We have come up with a way to maximize time, stay connected, and have one-on-one time with our children weekly. We have what is lovingly called “special time”. This family tradition started when we only had a couple of children and we wanted to make sure we were not missing what was going on in their hearts.
Here are the basics of special time:
- the child picks whatever he or she wants to do with the parents
- it lasts at least an hour
- Ask a few questions and listen a lot!
Depending on the age of the child having a special time, the time will look very different. When the children were young we played a LOT of eye spy, memory game, and go fish. As they progressed in age they usually wanted to play Charades and /or watch a movie together and now that most of our kids are adults we talk through their special times. When our daughter was living in Thailand we skyped a special time. I can barely get anyone to watch a movie anymore because they all have so much to talk about!
It’s time for everyone to add up the hours you are spending with each one of your children and make sure they are with you more than they are away from you. If you do not have your children’s heart when they are young you will have great difficulty gaining it as they get older. Please spend time with your children now, time slips quickly by, and before you know it, your kids are grown.
Now here is the great thing though, if you are in a situation that it is just not possible to spend “enough” time with your children, JESUS can make up the difference! He can meet all your needs and your children’s needs too. He can multiply the time you do have together! Start praying now for more time with your children today and see how God supply’s this need!
Interested in more PARENTING POSTS?
YOUR TURN…
What do you do with your kids that help you connect with them?
Blessings,
I never thought of it as special time but I try 3 or 4 times a week to meet with each of my girls and do something. Play a game, read some books, snuggle. Thanks for the encouragement to keep up the tradition!
Hi Helene,
Thank you for your comment! I am so encouraged by your tradition of spending time with your girls. Time flies by and I don’t ever regret taking time out of a busy day to spend time with my kids. I love that you snuggle with your kids! SO important!