I am thrilled to have Betsy from Gathering Around to share with us 4 Reasons for Dating Your Spouse!
We often enter relationships on cloud 9 with constant smiles on our faces, thinking of ways to connect with this significant other. But when we marry sometimes dating takes a backseat to everything else. We get busy and distracted.
What once seemed so important
can get swallowed up
by the tyranny of the urgent.
It’s never too late to regroup. If you have been sidetracked don’t step over into condemnation. This is just an invitation to circle up the wagons and make a new/fresh plan. And I want to tell you…this is going to be fun.
4 Reasons For Dating Your Spouse
Connect with your spouse
The whole point is connecting. The goal is to keep stepping toward each other every single day for the rest of your lives. Walking together can be a wonderful adventure. Yes, going out to eat and going to a movie is fun…but there is an entire world of possibilities available before you.
Sometimes we think of our date night as just the time we spent together. Meal. Check. Date over and we can move on. We have been guilty of this in our own lives. But I realize now that was more about maintaining our relationship rather than growing it.
Plan a FUN date night
When you have a date that is so fun it causes you to want to go out again and again. Dating before marriage is often filled with excitement and that often yields creativity. We think of unique ideas of how we can spend every single moment we can with each other.
That doesn’t have to stop. But if it has stopped, (or if it never really started) you can start fresh today. Consider somethings that are out of the box. What are things you can do together that would create shared experiences? You will be shocked to see what happens when you begin to experience different things together.
But this will take a brainstorming session together. Pinterest can be your new best friend. If you search for “dating your spouse” you will be shocked to find tons of information. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Both of you be open…and find somewhere to start. There will be some ideas that you REALLY don’t want to try and some your husband REALLY doesn’t want to try. Don’t start there. Find a middle ground. Or if you have a reluctant man step toward him and choose one that he seems interested in first. If money is an issue have no fear…Pinterest has got your back there too. “Free or inexpensive date ideas.”
Create a dating history
When you create a dating history you have deposited a shared experience in your love bank. You can go back to it. Laugh about it. Reminisce about it. This experience will serve to spur on other ideas as well. It’s shared experiences that help to connect us and cause us to want to continue to connect.
It isn’t just remembering why you fell in love with Him—it’s finding new reasons to fall in love over and over again. We are all constantly changing. It’s not fair to assume that you know all there his to know about your spouse. Each date can provide a springboard to learn more and more about each other.
If he has always wanted to take you hunting or golfing but you haven’t really wanted to…just do it. (And pray for a great attitude in the process.) Let him see you really trying something for him. Who knows…you might really end up liking it. But remember the point is connecting. Find out more about him while you are there. What does he really love about this activity? How did he get started doing it? He wanted to share this with you and that is a gift in and of itself.
Don’t be scared to have a date fail. Sometimes the funniest dates to look back on are those that fell flat. Remember that laughter is like good medicine. (Just make sure you truly are laughing together. You don’t want to hurt each other and cause your spouse to be reluctant to try again.)
Dream together
Brainstorm ideas and feel free to get crazy with it. Make goals for a few years out. If you have always wanted to go on a trip out of the country…start planning. Just set it out far enough that you have plenty of time to make it work. Get online and start dreaming of all you’d like to do when you get there and make a Pinterest board you can refer back to.
There have been some truly challenging times in our lives when dreaming helped us immensely. Sometimes when life is the hardest you need to refocus and relieve some pressure. This was a way that we would step out of the pressure and enjoy each other in spite of all that was going on around us.
Wherever you are in your marriage don’t forget it took an investment of time and energy, when you met, to get to the place where you decided to spend the rest of your life together. And now you are invited to continue investing. The challenge is to continue connecting for all your years to come. I am praying that each and every single year you are blessed to spend with your spouse finds you two truly enjoying each other more and more.
Your Turn…
List your favorite date with your husband below.
Subscribe to Gathering Around and you will receive “25 Rainy Day Ideas” (for FREE) that will give you some easy and fun ideas you can incorporate into your days. These are no-brainers. And you will not miss a single summer fun post!
Follow Gathering Around on Instagram and Facebook and get our crazy tips and encouragements. Follow Gathering Around on Pinterest and we can share our favorite ideas with you!
