Argg, ANXIETY, What You Don’t Know About Me!
I want you to think that I have it all together! Actually, I really would like it if you thought I was perfect. I wish you would think I always have my toenails painted and that I never have mold growing in my bathtub. I want you to think that my house is always clean and that I have never had a fight with my husband and oh yes, that my children are perfect. I would also like you to think that I have no weeds in my garden, the dishes never get backed up and that I don’t have wrinkles. I really, really want you to think I am ultra-organized and um… that I have never yelled at my kids!
I really, do not want to write this post.
The reality is that I am broken. In more than one way but today I want to talk about my lifelong battle with anxiety. I really can never remember a time when I did not have to deal with it. I am tired of it and it continues to grow wearisome. I want it to go away! Forever!
I take medication to help with it, now that is a hard one to admit to. I like to do things naturally so my inability to manage my anxiety using organic ingredients is excruciatingly hard to accept. I am a Christian, I often find myself thinking that if only I had enough faith I could knock this tribulation out of the water. The truth is the root of my anxiety stems from many things. A genetic predisposition, MTHFR, wrong thinking, and bad habits. Why in the world am I sharing something so private with you!?! Actually, I am wondering the very same thing.
My guess is that there are many other women out there that are suffering from debilitating anxiety. I want you to know that you are not alone and more importantly that God wants you to know that you are not alone!
ANXIETY – What You Don’t Know About Me
- I want you to know that just because you are having an anxious day does not mean that you will have an anxious day tomorrow.
- I want you to know that your feelings are not always the truth but that God cares deeply about what you are feeling.
- I want you to know that you are not going to die when you are having a panic attack and that there is actually something you can do to help you through it.
- I want you to know that you are never alone and that Jesus promised that he would never leave you or forsake you!
- I want you to know that it is important to understand your triggers and manage them faithfully.
- I want you to know you are loved with an everlasting love.
There is always a good side to the hard and painful things in our lives.
- I want you to know that I am more compassionate because I have anxiety.
- I want you to know that I know God more deeply and intimately because of my anxiety.
- I want you to know that I now know that there is good fear and bad fear.
- I want you to know that because I suffer from anxiety I know what the treasures of suffering with Christ are.
- I want you to know I am a better mother and wife because I am learning that God is in control and that he is so much better at controlling things than I am.
- I want you to know that I have learned to love deeper and fuller because of my anxiety.
3 Steps to Stop Anxiety
Step 1: Call on the name of Jesus. Sometimes it is the only thing I can utter. I say it over and over until I feel the beginnings of peace start to flow through my body.
Step 2: Pray and read scripture. I especially love the Psalms!
Step 3: I write down all the things I am thankful for! This can keep me busy for a VERY long time!
It is my sincerest prayer that someone will be helped by my struggle and I am praying many blessings your way!
YOUR TURN…
Do you suffer from anxiety? I would love to hear your story.
Blessings,
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Janelle, yes. I have also suffered from anxiety my whole life (I’m 60). I have also struggled with all the same feelings you have expressed – especially the judgment that I am a bad Christian because of it. I have come to accept it (sorta) as my personal “thorn.” And yes, just like you, in some sort of way I am thankful for it, as it brings me to the foot of the cross like few other things do. Your three tips for coping are perfect! Yes, for me too, sometimes the only thing that pushes back the onslaught of fear is uttering the name of Jesus, over and over.
One of the things that I look forward to the most is the eternal rest we will have one day in His Presence. I cannot imagine what that will feel like! In the meantime, God is faithful, and brings me times of peaceful streams that restore my soul.
GOD BLESS!
Hi Sharon,
Thank you so very much for your comment…it is such a healing balm to know I am not alone! I agree with you about looking forward to the time when we will not be anxious! I am so very grateful for my Savior who walks this road with me! Sending MANY BLESSINGS your way!
Janelle, What you have shared here today will…WILL…help many who cannot express this to others as you did not think you could or should. The way you wrote this and shared your steps and just how Jesus is with you and know you WILL bring comfort to many. I felt your compassion through these words. You are a near-neighbor of Fellowship Friday and the picture drew me in and I am very grateful that I came. I do not suffer this yet I know a few who do, plus your steps will also be a help for me as I deal with my own pain issues and aging issues. Thank you, dear Janelle.
Caring through Christ, ~ linda
Linda,
I can not thank you enough for your encouraging words! It was a very hard post to write but my heart was that others would find comfort! Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Linda!
Janelle,
How timely for you to write this post as my prayers were on this issue today. I also suffer from anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder and take medicine. I was feeling like maybe I am not christian enough because I take medicine. But I seem to have a genetic predisposition and have seen another family member deal with serious mental illness because of lack of medication.
I am sorry you suffer from anxiety. It is awful and I am praying for you.
Katie
Katie,
Your words touched my very soul! Thank you for your kind comment and I am praying for you too!
Janelle,
I feel that you are a kindred spirit the more I read your blog. Your blog is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Katie
Hi Katie,
It is so nice to know that there are kindred spirits out there! I am blessed by your comment!
I wrote this post about my struggles with anxiety and wanted to share it with you.http://thegreenhomemaker.com/depression-and-anxiety-are-not-a-choice/
I TOO have extreme anxiety and I TOO am on medication for it- which I will gladly shout from the mountain top that it was by far the greatest thing I ever did for myself and my own well being!!!
When I was 40, I decided it was worth trying- why live in angst my entire life? Now? I am more and more able to live out HIS purpose because I have calmed that beast within…
Oh, it’s still there!! But manageable for the most part, and my faith has grown exponentially because I have been freed of this burden that twisted my soul and kept it captive of letting His Light fully soak in me.
I think we need to share these pieces and parts of our broken selves!! Who on earth is PERFECT?
No one. Only God. And through our brokenness, we can bind together and reach other hearts and help them soak in His Light more fully as well.
Good for YOU, for sharing this part of yourself. 🙂
Hi Chris,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to comment! Your comment is such a blessing to me! I TOTALLY AGREE with your words especially the part about being freed to live out our Saviors purpose for our life!
I have also struggled and continue to struggle with anxiety. But, I am thankful for the honesty of others who let me know that I’m not alone. When I feel like I’m in the pit of my anxiety, it’s incredibly isolating. One of the biggest things that get me through, other than my faith, is knowing that others are going through the same thing. We can be there for each other!
Hi Jess!
Your comment gets a hearty AMEN from me! Thank you for taking the time to comment…you have encouraged me!
Wow! How brave of you! It’s one thing to admit to having a house that isn’t completely clean… another to admit to needing medication. And that’s okay! I have a very teeny bit of anxiety, but not enough to “worry” about–lol! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you Brittany! I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
Janelle, what a beautiful post! I love that you’re writing such transparent words! God is continuously using you to help others. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your encouragement Jennifer!!
I feel like I was writing this. I am a pastor’s wife and daughter, have 4 children and 1 in heaven. Thank u so much for sharing. Weare not in this alone! I look forward to being perfectly whole in heaven!
Thank you for stopping by and commenting on this post…I am so thankful as well, that we will be perfectly whole in heaven! Counting the minutes…
Thank you for your honesty.
Sometimes it is difficult to think that someone so beautiful and inspiring also has difficulties.
Your 3-step anxious-plan is perfect. Thank you!
Thank you for your kind words Rolene…I pray the 3 step plan will be a blessing!