Janelle Esker What is the number 1 reason kids walk away from the Lord? Parents didn’t win their children’s hearts. How’s that for a short post? It’s time to prioritize creating deep, loving, and long-lasting relationships with our kids!
The number one question I get asked, is how did you raise six children who are all walking with the Lord Jesus? Honestly, I must tell you that it is ALL God because I know myself, and frankly, I’m not all that great! That said, I realize that this response is true but also does not help younger women who desire to raise their children to become dedicated disciples of Christ.
The Number 1 Reason Kids Walk Away From The Lord
(Otherwise known as How to Win your Child’s Heart)
TIME
Simply put, not making children a priority. Time distractors like school, sports, extracurricular activities, working outside the home, career, and phone/tech. Yes, kids view time spent with them as love. Be generous with your time. Can I just say this? Put the phone down! Stop the mindless scrolling! Stop your preoccupation with other things. You only have a certain amount of time to raise your children. Please value your children enough to be present.
LEGALISM
Following man-made rules instead of Biblical commandments. Oh, dear! The number of families I have seen ruined because of legalism is shocking. Stop listening to other people and fact-check everything. Open your Bible and soak in its goodness. Discuss, study, ponder, and read over and over again the precious, true Word of God. Be willing to look at other points of view and please make sure to commit everything to prayer! Set aside some quiet time to seek out what the Bible has to say about parenting.
HUMBLENESS/REPENTANCE
Arrogance wounds individuals in the family unit and drives families apart. Showing compassion, and saying I’m sorry to your child is powerful. Acknowledge that we, the parent and the child are both in this discipleship process together. We both need Jesus in order to do anything. Modeling repentance is of critical importance. Model humbleness in your relationship with your precious children. Open yourself up and listen, really listen, to what your child says to you. Help each other follow Jesus in every area of your life.
LAUGHTER
Stark, soberness is not endearing. In some families, there is not enough relational building laughter. If you are having trouble with patience (and let’s face it, who doesn’t) then laughter is a great alternative. Family bonds will form over shared experiences and form memories of happy times. Please don’t confuse this with participating in and paying for fun activities outside the home. I am rather referring to the at-home atmosphere, where children and parents are comfortable enough in their love for each other to laugh about mistakes, funny daily stories, and even personal struggles.
TEAMWORK
Placing more importance on the individual instead of the family unit. We are not a group of individuals living together rather, we are a family with divinely created individuals making up this God-ordained unit. In our home, we call it “Team Esker”. We are commanded to make a difference in this dark world for Christ. We desperately need every person’s gifts and talents to make it! Every person is of critical importance and value to the family unit and serving the world at large.
MODELING
Why would you expect your children to behave well when your behavior is ungodly? Model the behavior you want your children to display. This is admittedly a hard one. If you are stuck, please get help, your life is not your own. You have a husband and children that need your love and gentleness. I most certainly needed help in my parenting journey and so did my husband. We sought out counseling with a Christian counselor to dig deep into the root causes of our behavior in order to actively change potentially damaging behavior.
MARRIAGE
Build a strong marriage. Learn how to love like Christ. This takes time and energy but please make your marriage a priority. It is of even greater priority than your children. Let your children see you work things out in a healthy manner. Let them see you apologize and kiss and make up!
What is one step you can take today to move toward healthy parenting?
- Focus on the task at hand. Motherhood is about creating dedicated disciples of Christ.
- Schedule an appointment with a Christian counselor.
- Go from working full-time to part-time.
- Go from working part-time to home full-time.
- Practice Christ-Centered Slow Living.
- Repent in word and deed about misaligned priorities.
- Schedule a family game night.
- Eat meals together.
- Prayerfully consider the idea of homeschooling.
- Set aside time every. single. day. to pray, read the Bible, and listen to God our Father.
- Have family devotions.
- Set a consistent plan of discipline.
YOUR TURN…
What is your opinion on why kids leave the faith?
Blessings,
Janelle
